I can barely believe I'm writing this. In all my years on this earth, I never thought this would happen. Never thought it could happen to me.
I'm in love. I, Alice Liddell, love Victor Van Dort.
I'm in love. I, Alice Liddell, love Victor Van Dort.
It's the last thing I ever expected happening. Hell, I said as much this very morning. I'd called Victor's friend Vamsi on the phone, and somehow the conversation turned to relationships. She asked me about boyfriends, and I told her I'd never even kissed anyone. (Mostly because the only people interested in me weren't at all interested in kissing. . .)
Actually, it was that conversation with her that led to everything else. Because she suggested that Victor might have a thing for me. And while I initially laughed it off, the idea stuck with me enough to invite him over and see for myself. Though at the time, I thought for sure there was nothing to it. That we were nothing more than good friends.
That is, until Victor took a deep breath and told me that he thought I was the most amazing girl on the planet, and that he was very much in love with me.
If I wasn't in love with him before, I certainly fell in love with him at that moment. But I think I'd fallen for him long before -- I'd already realized how much I'd miss him if he were gone. I just didn't want to admit it to myself, because of how much I'd miss him if he were gone. But now. . .well, what's the use of keeping it repressed? He loves me, and I love him. And we're going to do our best to get out of here together.
And yes -- I can now say that I've kissed someone. And it was quite a nice kiss.
Another nice thing that happened today was Julie declaring me to be one of her best friends. A very touching gesture. Yes, I suppose I do like these women, strange as they may be sometimes.
But the next time one of them starts showering while I'm on the toilet, I'm going to have to make a fuss.
Either that or buy myself my own toilet. I've FINALLY gotten a new, better-paying acting job -- I'm working entertainment at a new medieval-themed restaurant and theater. And happily, I am not a bar wench, but a Round Table Knight! A chance to play with a sword in real life and meeting the love of my life. Today is the best day ever, if I do say so.
Either that or buy myself my own toilet. I've FINALLY gotten a new, better-paying acting job -- I'm working entertainment at a new medieval-themed restaurant and theater. And happily, I am not a bar wench, but a Round Table Knight! A chance to play with a sword in real life and meeting the love of my life. Today is the best day ever, if I do say so.
***
You know, I really thought things were getting better around here. When I saw Carole and American playing together before I left for my job, I thought the girls were doing well. They seemed to have improved for a short bit -- less crying, fewer breakdowns involving flour babies and lampshades.
Then, after I got home after a long day of on the stage in armor, everyone immediately starts asking why there was no food in the fridge. Apparently almost all the girls spent the day slowly starving to death because none of them thought to order food. In fact, when I asked them why they hadn't called up the local delivery service, they just stared at me blankly. It's like they're children -- no, I can't even say that. Children would have thought to call for help, or at least try to find something to eat wherever they could!
And let me tell you, invisible reader, it's a bit embarrassing to have to greet the deliveryman in full costume because the situation was so urgent, you didn't have time to change back into your regular clothes. I felt a right idiot in that suit.
Although I can't complain too much about the armor -- it's much preferable to that ridiculous dress they forced me to wear as a ventriloquist. At least I can be sure no one's ogling me in this get-up! Besides, as a child, I went through a phase of wanting to be a knight. It feels oddly nostalgic whenever I go to work. Like I'm getting paid to play pretend.
Anyway, I've been cured of my delusion that my fellow patients are really improving. They're still crying and having breakdowns -- they've just gotten better at hiding it. Which is, admittedly, a life skill they severely lacked before, so I guess they've improved a bit. But the ideal would be for them to stop weeping and going mad altogether. Of course, that would only happen if one of the doctors who put us all in here would bother to show up. . .Victor told me the other day that he sometimes thinks they've just abandoned us here, and I agree. It's probably much easier to keep the crazies isolated from society than actually cure them. It's pathetic, it really is.
At least not all of these psychoses are harmful. Some can even be a tad amusing. Donna claims that she's going to be a gourmet chef one day. I say that you need to do more than read the restaurant reviews in the paper for hours on end and cook the occasional grilled cheese to do that, Donna.
Despite everything, though, I've managed to complete my reading on how to achieve lifelong happiness. The author went on a lot about balancing karma and breathing exercises and things like that. I think I have a better way to achieve lifelong happiness.
Fall in love with a sweet young man.
Speaking of which, one of the girls is telling me he's on the phone, so I think I'll go speak with him before I get some sleep.
Fall in love with a sweet young man.
Speaking of which, one of the girls is telling me he's on the phone, so I think I'll go speak with him before I get some sleep.
***
I slept in late today, and my fellow patients did NOT attempt to burn the place down! They have officially earned a tiny smidgen of my respect. Good job, ladies.
I can't say much else has changed, unfortunately. They're still struggling along, still having breakdowns. Synchronized breakdowns now, no less. It's rather creepy. Equally creepy is how used I've gotten to the sound of wailing. I'd say it's just like being back in the original Rutledge, except there I was just as bad as the rest of them. That's the one thing I can take comfort in -- perhaps I see things sometimes, but I'm conscious and mobile and know what's real and what's not. That's far, far better than I was before.
And at least I have the sense not to go into that weird gyroscope, like some of the others do. Although maybe it does help them -- I've seen that mysterious light coming from a few of their bodies as they spin. It only seems to show up when they're having fun, so. . . Well. If they enjoy it, they're welcome to it.
I have my painting to keep me occupied. I think I've gotten quite good, really. Maybe I could quit my job and become a professional painter once I've been released. Open up my own art gallery. It might be fun. Wonder if Victor could get his insanely-rich parents to give me a loan. . .
I should call Victor, actually. I haven't had a chance to see him lately. Well, I haven't had a chance to see anyone, lately, but I've been talking to the others on the phone. And he's the only one I truly WANT to see in person.
I wonder. . .
Would it scare him if I asked him out?
I wonder. . .
Would it scare him if I asked him out?
***
The mailman gave me a bit of a funny look today as he saw me going to work this morning. On the one hand, I know my armor is a bit ridiculous-looking and bound to turn some heads.
On the other, I know for a fact our mailman is named Blake Fuchs, of all things, so he should make sure his windows are reinforced before casting any stones at me.
On the other, I know for a fact our mailman is named Blake Fuchs, of all things, so he should make sure his windows are reinforced before casting any stones at me.
Work has been going incredibly well -- I was promoted today to a juggler at the venue where I perform! Although it was an incredibly strange promotion -- my boss and I were playing a word game during our hour off, and I happened to win with a seven-letter triple-pointer (the word? BAWLING. I should buy the ladies something nice with my bonus). For some reason, this so impressed by employer that I was immediately promoted. I can't say I'm complaining about such a move forward in my career -- particularly when I look at my paycheck and realize I've managed to earn 10,000 pounds during my tenure here -- but it seems -- Wonderland-style logic.
The other downside is that I ended up spending an extra two hours at work -- although my boss sent me home early to change into my new costume (which seems to be just the mime costume again?), I was expected to come back in time for my new shift, which ended two hours later than my old one. So I was forced to leave the ladies alone for almost all of the day.
Fortunately, my fears were alleviated over a late supper with Laura (which was, of course, grilled cheese sandwiches. Ugh). "It rained almost all the day," she told me. "A lot of us just stayed in our beds and slept."
That was frankly the best news I could have heard about how this lot spent their day. Rude of me? Perhaps? But when they're still prone to breaking into completely random sobbing fits over imagined problems, the idea of most of them just sleeping through my double shift at work puts my heart quite at ease.
Which gives me the motivation to work toward my next promotion. The doctors here may be little more than ghosts, but I may as well work toward the goal that they set for me. If they appear and release me, fine. If they don't -- well, there's no one to keep me here, and I'll have a good, high-paying job to support me while I get settled into a house.
Well. Me and Victor. That was another sad casualty of my overlong day -- my desire to ask him out on a proper date. Maybe we can coordinate something this weekend.
Well. Me and Victor. That was another sad casualty of my overlong day -- my desire to ask him out on a proper date. Maybe we can coordinate something this weekend.
For now, I intend to soothe my mind with a bit of art. I've been working hard on a cat painting that I'm really quite proud of. Though Cheshire doesn't think much of it. Mangy old thing -- if you'd like to be my model, stop disappearing on me constantly!
***
A MIRACLE HAS HAPPENED.
ONE OF THE WOMEN MADE SOMETHING OTHER THAN GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES.
I know it's a bit odd to get so excited over something rather mundane, to be honest, but after meal after meal after meal of those wretched sandwiches, coming home after a long shift of juggling to find Joy laying out banana splits?
ONE OF THE WOMEN MADE SOMETHING OTHER THAN GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES.
I know it's a bit odd to get so excited over something rather mundane, to be honest, but after meal after meal after meal of those wretched sandwiches, coming home after a long shift of juggling to find Joy laying out banana splits?
Well, I may have forgotten my table manners for a moment. Completely worth it, though -- I may be a little ambivalent on candy, but I love things like cake and ice cream. And Joy actually made a very decent sundae! Scoops well-formed, plenty of warm topping, good bananas. . . I am impressed. And quite happily full.
That's not the only bit of good news either -- Susie's apparently doing better! At the very least, she eagerly told me of a pleasant conversation she had with a passerby named Mary Gavigan. I'm glad for her, I really am. I know how much all of us have been suffering as of late, and little things like this make me feel surer that maybe one day we'll all get out of the asylum. Or, at the very least, that my fellow inmates won't roll over and die once I leave.
As for myself, I have to admit -- I'm feeling quite good. Not only do I have a well-paying job, my art is still steadily improving. It's such a pleasure to finish a painting and realize that I created that. That cat gnawing on someone's hair (Lizzie hated when Dinah did that. . .) came from my fingers. I am able to put my deepest, most powerful memories and emotions on canvas for all to see.
Not that I necessarily would do that, but you understand my point, hypothetical other person who may be reading this.
Not that I necessarily would do that, but you understand my point, hypothetical other person who may be reading this.
Really, the only thing I have to complain about lately is idiots kicking over our garbage can, and that's easily fixed, really. It's nothing like having to fight my way through Wonderland, or finding out what Dr. Bumby did to Lizzie. Small problems -- that's what I relish.
Small problems faced with a friend are even better, though. Victor and I may finally have a date this Saturday -- I'm off work, and he gets off at five, so that should work out nicely. It'll have to be at Houndsditch -- Victor's worried the doctors will reappear and punish us should we abuse what freedoms we have, and with my luck he's right to worry -- but I'm happy enough just to have the chance to see him. And besides, if I can talk to at least one of his fellow patients about the sort of work I do, I can truthfully tell my boss I've spread the word about the venue. So it's a win either way.
Small problems faced with a friend are even better, though. Victor and I may finally have a date this Saturday -- I'm off work, and he gets off at five, so that should work out nicely. It'll have to be at Houndsditch -- Victor's worried the doctors will reappear and punish us should we abuse what freedoms we have, and with my luck he's right to worry -- but I'm happy enough just to have the chance to see him. And besides, if I can talk to at least one of his fellow patients about the sort of work I do, I can truthfully tell my boss I've spread the word about the venue. So it's a win either way.
As it is, my next masterpiece will not paint itself. And I have to occupy myself with something between now and Saturday evening.
***
Well. I should have known the pleasant atmosphere couldn't last. This morning we had another stove fire. A pretty massive one too. I'd just woken up when I smelt the smoke and came running. Joy had JUST managed to put it out, thank God. I can only imagine the panicky mess I would have been the rest of the day if I'd been confronted with the flames.
After all, they did an absolute number on Carole. When I came in, she was back on her feet (if looking very dazed), but Joy told me that just moments before the blaze properly caught, she smelled the smoke and collapsed in a gibbering heap. The fear of being cooked to death was just too much for her, I guess. Not that I particularly blame her.
And the cause of all the trouble? Some idiot putting a pan of grilled cheese sandwiches on to grill and then forgetting about them! Argh -- I swear, one day I'm going to just throw away every last scrap of cheese and bread in this house. Anything even related to cheese and bread, in fact. I'm tired of our lives nearly ending because this lot can't be bothered to watch their food!
The final result of this morning's escapades? A house full of people who smell absolutely horrible, and the return of Carole's flour baby (who is now named Fitzgerald). And to think I had such a nice time with Victor just the other night. . .
Well, the day hasn't been a total waste, at least. Desperate for company, I actually accosted a young man named Christian outside our gate. He turned out to be an excellent conversationalist, and we had a nice long talk about English factories and how they need to be improved post-haste. It felt good to have intelligent conversation with someone other than Victor for a change.
I also decided to call up Chris and see how he was doing. I'd met him during my date with Victor (during the Salad Rush, as I like to think of it), and he seemed a decent enough sort. A bit hard to warm up at first, but once you get past the initial hurdle he's nice to know.
He and I had a good chat as well -- he's actually quite into weather forecasting, and it was rather fascinating to hear him go on about his predictions. Apparently he expects early snowfall this coming autumn. I hope he's wrong -- the heating in this place is iffy at the best of times, and with the girls acting madder by the day. . . I guess we can always rely on our stove fires to keep us warm.
He also claims that Victor is going to ask me to marry him soon, because "that's just what Victor does." I told him that I'm certainly not opposed to the idea, but I'm sure that he'll wait until we're both out of the asylum to ask such an important question.
Hmmm. Marriage to Victor. Now there's as good a reason to get out of this place as I've ever heard.
Hmmm. Marriage to Victor. Now there's as good a reason to get out of this place as I've ever heard.
I also got in a brief chat with Vamsi before I had to get off the phone for the night. She really is a nice woman, and I'm glad Victor introduced me to her. I've been lacking sane female company for a while now. It's always a funny feeling to realize that I really do have friends, especially in here, but -- a nice one as well.
Particularly whenever I see Susie dancing with her lampshade because she can't go out and have fun with hers. Maybe one day I'll sneak her and a few of the other more stable ones out, and we'll see if a night on a real dance floor doesn't do something for her state of
And she just let out the most bloodcurdling scream in the exercise room for no reason whatsoever. So much for that plan.
Well, I'd best get to bed. Tomorrow is sure to be another busy day. Hopefully it won't start with another fire.
Well, I'd best get to bed. Tomorrow is sure to be another busy day. Hopefully it won't start with another fire.
***
Heh -- anyone who's ever accused me of being asocial and hard to get along with should have seen me today! I was quite the social butterfly, if I do say so myself. I had a lovely conversation with Priya earlier this afternoon -- she told me that she counted me among some of her closest friends! Truly an honor, especially for someone stuck in an asylum.
And this morning my desire to "network" for my job truly paid off. I spotted a passerby lingering by our gate and decided to engage him in conversation. He told me his name was Jihoon Hsu (he doesn't look a bit Asian, honestly, but who am I to pry), and we had a very nice chat about where we wanted to go in life. I told him about my goal to get out of here via proving myself capable of work, and about my job juggling, subtly encouraging him to come see a show and line my employer's wallet.
He was quite impressed. "You seem perfectly sane to me, Alice -- I'm sure you'll be out of here sooner than you know. After all, you look like a girl who's going places!"
"I certainly hope so," I told him with a smile. "I've got a lot that I want to do once I'm on the outside."
"I certainly hope so," I told him with a smile. "I've got a lot that I want to do once I'm on the outside."
"Oh, I know so," he said -- and then informed me he was my employer's cousin! And that he's going to make sure I get a promotion very soon! Perhaps I should be a bit annoyed by this clear display of nepotism, but I can't bring myself to care. Any path that leads me out of this asylum quicker! Besides, one can claim that it was my skill that impressed him -- it just wasn't in juggling.
So yes, as I told Christian later this morning (I told you I was being social, hypothetical reader), taking the chance to talk to people can really pay off. Incidentally, he's proved to be a decent conversational partner as well. I'm very glad that I have other people to turn to besides Victor if I want a good chat. (Not that I have any objections to turning to Victor -- I just know his particular life goal involves improving his skills to certain levels, and I don't want to constantly distract him. Even if it's fun distraction.)
So yes, today has been a good -- if busy -- day. All that socializing didn't leave much time for anything else, I'm afraid. Although I did get in a little practice at the chess board. (And I'm glad to say I didn't slip into my old habit of talking to them as I moved them. Though really, in this place, who would notice?) And some more painting done. Really, my only complaint is that no one -- and I mean NO ONE would let me shower! The bathroom's been full all day, and I'm --
Wait. I think -- yes, Joy FINALLY left! Excuse me journal -- carpe aqua! If I don't get the day's filth off me, I think I'll go mad.
Sims Week 3 Completed
Progress Toward LTW:
Proceed To Week Four-->
- Level 7, Juggler
- Needs 1 Charisma point for normal promotion
- Guaranteed promotion by Jihoon's Network bonus
Proceed To Week Four-->